Tag Archives: love

My Story: The Mirena Coil Implant

 

There are many different reasons for and against the use of hormonal contraceptives and, given the opportunity, many will throw their opinions at you until you’re left reeling and unable to tell left from right. I think, aside from personal accounts, people should refrain from bashing others with their medical opinions and leave a lot of the talk to doctors, but when it comes to personal experience, the testimony of others can be incredibly useful.
I decided last year, for a combination of reasons, to get the Mirena hormone coil implant as it seemed the best suited to my needs after thorough research online and talking at length with my doctors. I knew the process of getting used to a piece of plastic in my lady parts wouldn’t be easy, but it seemed worth it for the peace of mind and freedom it could offer.
Here is my experience!

My Reasons

For a number of health reasons, me and my reproductive system aren’t the closest of friends. I have always suffered from Dysmenorrhoea (the fancy medical word for “Extremely F***ing painful periods”) and so decided after many years to take steps to naturally stop my periods, without completely writing off the possibility of children someday down the line.
I researched the many kinds of hormonal contraceptives available to me and tried a couple, sadly to no avail. The Mirena turned out to the be the one most likely to give me the relief I needed to lead a happy life.

The Run Up

After multiple appointments with my doctor to settle upon the Mirena, I was booked in for the routine sexual health check up required before getting a coil.
As I had never had any appointments regarding my nether regions before, this was a rather awkward and eye-opening experience for me. I almost chickened out repeatedly, not wanting the embarrassment of a doctor going anywhere near my “hoo ha”, but I realised the only one making a fuss out of it was myself – these doctors spend almost all day every day just inches from a vagina, so mine wasn’t anything new to them.
The screening itself wasn’t really a problem when I calmed myself down. The only scary part was when they said they would text me with the results, and only to worry if I didn’t hear back… And guess who was left for 6 weeks thinking she had an STI because the hospital forgot to text her…. Yup.
You can imagine my relief when they finally told me I was fine after that little doosy!

The Big Day

So, I was told to go about my day as usual before the appointment l and just to take a painkiller a short while before going in and was warned that during and after the appointment I would experience “mild discomfort” and may want to rest for the day.
In reality, the appointment was genuinely the most painful experience of my 22 years, and that includes a head injury I sustained only 2 months before my Mirena insertion. As it turns out, I have an “abnormally small” cervix which meant that it was a whole new level of pain for little ol’ me, especially as the Mirena is mostly recommended for women that have had children.
Just the word “Speculum” makes me unconsciously cross my legs and gives me shudders, but nothing can sum up the bizarre feeling of the little T shaped device popping into place. Six months down the line and I still recall every detail of the fascinating and sickening sensation.
The insertion is kind of like an injection without a needle. The Mirena is on the end of a long stick with a syringe style plunger on the end that pushes the coil into place and then cuts the threads to length as it releases the device.
For all the discomfort, the procedure itself only lasted about 10-15 minutes, plus a 5-10 minute lie down to ensure I didn’t faint from standing up too fast.
The nurses were all incredibly sweet and helpful, ensuring I was safe and as at ease as possible during the whole ordeal.
Pain scale: 8 1/2 out of 10

The First Week

So I left my appointment with my friends, feeling pretty fragile and very queasy. After almost throwing up in my friend’s car from the pain and my body’s shock to the sudden change, I got home and things went from bad to worse.
Keeping in mind that I already suffer from Dysmennorhoea and the strain period pain puts on my daily life, the pain that flooded over me was 100 times worse than any cramps I had suffered in my life.
My boyfriend bundled me inside and wrapped me up as I fought the urge to black out from the sheer agony I was in. I felt as though someone was beating my uterus with a whisk made of fire and scrambling my insides. It was intense and I kept waking up, tossing and turning all night long.
The next day, I could hardly walk. I had to call my work and explain the amount of pain I was in and they kindly let me stay home. It was so rough.
Pain Scale 9 1/2 out of 10

The First Month

I remained in consistent pain for the whole of the first month after the appointment. I had to keep a chair at work to sit on when I wasn’t doing anything and practically lived constantly hopped up on cocodamol just to make it through the day.
It was intense, but I knew what I was in for given my health and my tiny frame. I survived through work, Christmas, travelling and just focussed on staying active and living life as normally as possible until the pain eased off.
When you get the coil, your body may react to the device and try to expel it, due to it being a foreign object inside your body, so pain is normal.
Pain Scale: Constant 6-7 out of 10

6 Months Later

It is 6 months to the day since I got the Mirena coil put in and, while I cannot say the process has been easy, it has been worth it.
In the 6 months I have had the coil, I have had a total of 6 accumulated weeks off my period. No joke. Due to the hormone release, your body has to figure out what to do and get used to the chemicals rushing around in your system and that takes time. The upside is that, while the bleeding is definitely an inconvenience, the pain I get from my periods has lessened significantly and my body is already starting to adjust and I am noticing my periods seem to be wearing off and getting a little shorter in between the growing breaks off.
occasionally I still get the odd twinge from it and pains here and there, but nothing as bad as what I was feeling every month before I got the coil.

Advice and Heads Up

  • When you get the coil inserted, you must return for a check-up 6 weeks later to ensure the device is in the correct position to work, so you will need to use other forms of contraception until that point, such as condoms, patches or the pill.
  • Obvious, I know, but important: The coil doesn’t protect you from any STIs, so be safe!
  • Try not to be too reliant on painkillers as you can build up a tolerance to them and, in some cases, get addicted or damage your organs. I know they seem like an easier option, but I felt a lot worse in the times I was using them too much.
  • Don’t let the pain scare you out of it if you really need it. I have decided to be honest about my experience because I wished I had been told, but the impact this device has had on my life in incredible and I feel a lot better knowing I could be on my way to getting rid of painful periods for up to 5 years and the knowledge that I am almost completely safe from accidental pregnancy.
  • Your boobs may get noticeably bigger. Thank you, Mirena!
  • BOOK TIME OFF WORK FOR AFTER. I was very lucky I had such understanding bosses who let me take a couple days to feel better, but do yourself a favour and make sure you get yourself at least a day or two to rest before going back, even if you are fine after, just so you don’t over exhaust yourself.
  • Make sure you talk to your doctors about the options you have available to you, to find the contraceptives that suit your needs best, as we are all very different.
  • Carry your Mirena patient card with you at all times. I didn’t know this until recently myself, but I was informed that the reason you are given the card isn’t just to remind you 5 years down the line to replace it, but also for medical reasons. Say you get into an accident and are rushed to hospital, if you have the card the medics will know that you have the Mirena instantly, as the device can show up looking like shrapnel in an X-Ray and it could get removed or cause issue with treatment.
  • If, like me, the Mirena causes heavily prolonged periods, make sure you talk to your doctor about the risk of Anemia and possibly invest in some iron supplements, as you don’t want to have to deal with an iron deficiency from bleeding on top of getting used to a coil!

I will be updating this post the further along I get into my experience with the coil and hopefully adding some testimonies from other people about their Mirena stories!
Thank you very much and I hope this has been useful for you!
Please join in the conversation in the comments below and over on Facebook! Xx

6 Common Over-Assumptions About Breakups

10432552_1013181298695894_8304708746044163524_nAs a follow on to my previous post about breakups, I wanted to look into to some of the common assumptions of breaking up that people so regularly throw around as fact. If you are going through a breakup, I am so sorry. It is a horribly painful experience and the loss of a relationship can really shake someone to the core. Know that, if nowhere else, you have support here.

Often, when people preach at you and feed into these “facts”, they are just trying to think of something to say that will help you. they likely don’t MEAN to say something unhelpful or hurtful.
Most of these can apply in some cases, but they may not apply to your case or most cases.

1. Someone is always the bad-guy

Sometimes there is a bad-guy, maybe one of the people cheated, lied or was neglectful, but there isn’t always a bad-guy. Sometimes people just drift apart or a great couple find themselves in circumstances that they can’t make it through together. There isn’t antagonist in every story and it can hurt those grieving a lot more to try and sign the “blame” to someone.
If you find yourself of the position of talking to someone who is going through a breakup, try to consider the feelings of both sides and how they feel about each other before you try to dish out blame or vilifying either person involved.
Also, if you are going through a breakup, try not to vilify your ex unnecessarily. If they did do wrong by you or the relationship, you are fully entitled to your feelings, but don’t blame where it’s not needed. It might seem like it’ll make you feel better, but it won’t. It will only stir you up with aggravation and annoyance. Anger doesn’t solve anything.

2. Breaking up means the relationship wasn’t real or loving

Relationships begin for strange reasons. Personalities, interests and circumstances all club together to make two people click and the beginnings of a relationship is formed. It’s weird how it happens and it’s wonderful. Relationships also end in as just a weird way. Also a combination of personalities changing, a drifting of interests or priorities and circumstance.
Sometimes a great, loving couple just don’t work out, through no fault of either of them.
Breaking up does not mean that you and your partner were never in a real and loving relationship, it just means that the relationship has reached its end.
Breaking up is hard. You are mourning the loss of love, the loss of a relationship that has taken time, attention and emotional investment to form. While some relationships are loveless, that isn’t the case for every couple. Quite likely, your relationship was loving, was valued and was just the victim of circumstance and personal differences.

3. It’s impossible that you still love them

I know from experience that breaking up with someone doesn’t mean that all your love is instantaneously erased. If that were the case, breaking up would be so much easier. Breaking up is the slow and difficult path of walking away from your love with another. It isn’t so easy as just suddenly not being in love – how useful that would be!
Sometimes people, even both sides, continue to love the other for a long time. A breakup doesn’t always mean that there’s no love there and that makes it all the more painful.
If you know someone who is going through a breakup, try to be careful about suggesting anything along the lines that they are completely out of love could be very hurtful to them.
If you yourself are going through a breakup, don’t feel that you have to suddenly act as though you are suddenly completely over your ex. Accept and embrace your emotions.
When times are tough, remember the phrase “The only way out is through”

4. You just need to pull yourself together

Breaking up is hard. It is painful. There has been a shock to your system, causing a chemical storm in your brain as it tries to compute what’s happening, and that’s a valid, real and very undeniably human reason to be shaken and upset.
No-one should be telling you, or even expecting you, to just pull yourself together. Pulling yourself together just means bottling it up and acting as if nothing is wrong, which is unhelpful and inhumane towards yourself.

5. It’s always down to personal fault or flaw

It is true that some breakups are down to personal difference, bad behaviour of character flaws, but that’s not always the reason behind a breakup. Everyone is different, no situation is identical and sometimes stuff just doesn’t work out.
It used to baffle me when I was younger when couples, both good, kind, honest, committed and lovely people, would seemingly break up for no apparent reason. Like they just decided “Eh, that was cool, time to move on” or something. Being young and inexperienced, I then tried to find the reason behind it, assuming that someone was responsible for some wrong doing or other. With time I grew to learn that it is sometimes just a case of people drifting apart.
It happens, it’s sad and there isn’t always a reason for it.

6. You’re smiling, so you must be over them

This is possibly the most irritating of all of these over-assumptions.
So much of the time people, even the people who know you really well, may assume that you are fine, over your ex and ready to get back out there just because you’re not curled up on the floor crying.
Sometimes you just don’t have the energy to cry, or you’re trying to handle things calmly or maybe just because you don’t need to cry about it right there and then. That’s okay. Crying is draining, it really saps your energy and can make you feel a whole lot worse so it’s understandable that you’ll try to avoid it!
Cry isn’t the only way we handle sadness. Especially for women, a lot of sadness is internal. It’s a vicious and destructive storm in the sea of your being which crashes walls of your soul. It’s rough and it’s only made worse when people try to force you to be better.
If you have a friend going through a breakup, be very careful when you suggest that they are better because it can be seriously upsetting to them if that is said when they are no-where near better and, please, do not try to encourage them to get over their ex by trying to hook them up with other people or take them out to get “back out there”, because that could be very damaging.
If you yourself are going through this trouble right now, please take your time in recovering. Let it be as fast or as slow as you need. Stay safe, stay healthy and put yourself first. Only you can truly and deeply know inside when you are fine again.
If you do find that you are taking an incredibly long time to feel okay again, or maybe issues related to things keep cropping up, perhaps try to see a professional who you can talk to to get your feelings out. The great thing about a counsellor is that you can get all of your feelings out using the best words you can and the counsellor will work them all out and tell it back to you in the clearest, healthiest and most satisfying way possible and can give great advice for how to take the best steps towards being happier and more yourself again.

I hope that these myth busts have been helpful to you and perhaps offered you some comfort if you are going through a breakup. Always remember that, even at times where you may forget so, there are people out there who love and care about you and you are of tremendous value. There is always someone to turn to out there. I wish you all the best and infinite happiness in future.
You can continue the discussion in the comments below or come join us on Facebook or Twitter!

Recover From A Break-Up Gently

Going through a breakup is a painful, and often unavoidable, part of life. While some of us are lucky enough to spend our whole life with the first person we fall in love with, most are not.

I am most definitely not one of those lucky souls and have been through my own fair share of heartache. Feel assured that you are not alone and others have felt heartbreak just as you have/are. Heartbreak truly and utterly sucks. I am one to try to find the positive side of anything but, while a breakup itself may have some pluses, the pain from a broke heart is, in my opinion, one of the most needlessly painful experiences one can go through. But we can learn to cope, and sometimes in life that is the only thing you CAN do.

So, with a positive tune to song us through, let’s discuss a few ways of getting over a breakup as gently as possible.

1. Try not to fight

Photo 13-03-2014 01 56 45I know emotions can run high and the distress of the situation can take your mind on a little joyride of pain and fury, but try to avoid heated arguments and burning of bridges.
Most likely both you and the other person involved will both be hurting, so try not to pour any more salt into your wounds by dragging things out unnecessarily.
Of course, if the other has said or done something wrong, you have the right to your feelings, but try to let your emotions out in a healthy and constructive manner. No screaming, smashing things or violence. Try to keep your emotions healthy and don’t cause more problems that will make moving on any harder (it’ll take you a lot longer to move on from a breakup if you are feeling guilty for acting out of line or in the clink for GBH)

2. Give yourself space

Photo 03-11-2013 16 25 37Maybe you and your ex want to be friends. Perhaps your friends want to take you out to drink the problems away. Maybe you want to try to convince your ex’s friends to change their mind.
For now, leave all of that.
A breakup is stressful, it’s traumatic and you need time to cool of and steady yourself. Don’t keep reopening the wound by continuing to hang out with your ex right away. Don’t let your friends try to kind a quick fix cure for your upset. Don’t try to fix a situation you aren’t in the right state to fix.
Take a step back, take a look at yourself and focus on what you need. Maybe you need a nice massage or a trip to the gym to burn off some of that stress. Maybe you need to remember what YOU need and put yourself first for a while.
Food, water, sleep and health are a good few areas to focus on. Are you eating right (and enough)? Are you drinking good clean water? Are you sleeping right? Are you investing enough time and attention to your health and fitness?
Focusing on yourself will help you to clear your mind of relationship worries and get you focusing on the proactive and brilliant YOU who has been out of your own spotlight for too long. Take time, treat yourself right and don’t let the greif and frustration drive you into trouble.

3. Safety First

When your mind is in ‘crisis mode’ from the shock of a breakup it isn’t functioning right. You can lose track of what is sensible and what isn’t, it is times like this where you have to behave with extreme caution. The smartest person may still be tempted to the path of self-destruction that comes with this state.

“I just want to go out, get drunk and forget it all.”

“Maybe if I wreck myself, they will see how bad I am without them.”

“I want the world to see how much I hurt by hurting myself.”

I don’t want my life anymore. Nothing matters anymore.”

Do any of these sound familiar? These are very common thoughts for people to be thinking when they are in a tempest of the heart. Your conscious mind needs to take over and be the sensible one in this time because your unconscious mind could be running on low power while you recover.

Things to avoid:

photoExcessive drinking: You are not dependent on alcohol, it will not help you or solve your problems. Do not use it as a solace for your emotions or a balm for the reality. It will only damage you and give you further problems (alcoholism, substance dependence and health problems) to deal with.
Drugs: Never a good idea anyway, drugs will only make things worse. Often drug takers get into them because they are looking for something to stop the pain, but it doesn’t work. I have known people who have taken drugs to try and comfort themselves and it only makes it harder.
Sleeping around: I know it seems like the perfect payback or a good way to move on from your problems, but sleeping around and ONSs are not the answer you are looking for. It can hurt you, the people you sleep with and also puts you in the firing line of a lot of risks (unwanted pregnancy, STDs, etc).
Travel: When going through a breakup, I would not recommend going on vacation or to a foreign place until you have fully recovered. It might seem like a great idea that will clear your head and help you solve all your problems, but life doesn’t always work like ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ and home may be the safest place to be. When you are travelling while distressed things can go awry very easily as you are in a vulnerable state of mind and prone to making ill-advised choices. If you do HAVE TO travel during this difficult time, pay great attention to yourself. the choices you are making and your own personal safety (and DEFINITELY avoid drinking, drugs and sleeping around!!)

4. Rebounds

I was going to add this to the list of things to avoid, but I thought it needed it’s own paragraph to discuss it. Now rebounds are a very common “move” for people trying to get over a breakup, but what they don’t realise is that a new relationship does not erase a previous relationship. That pain will still be there, and it could carry forward into future relationships if not properly handled.
A rebound relationship is kind of like using a person – a living, breathing individual – as a drug to try and numb the pain from a relationship that you cared about. It doesn’t feel good to be a rebound and it won’t help either of you later.
I would recommend again rebounds as it could just drag out your pain and save it for later.

5. Avoid self-torture

Photo 16-10-2013 11 38 19I know you may want to listen to all of “your songs”, go all the places you went together, look at all the photos and read all the records of the great times you had together and wonder where it all went wrong, but that doesn’t matter.

Life is constantly changing and you are on your own path in this life. People may come into your life that you think will be there forever but, somewhere along the way, they fall back. That is okay. I know it seems like a really cruel sucky reality, but once you accept it, things get a lot better.

6. Be happy

The Dalai Lama says that happiness is not just experiencing the emotion of happiness, but carrying a happy attitude to life. He says that you can feel happiness at any time in your life, even if your emotion is anger or sadness. It does sound a bit hokey and “herbal”, but it does truly work.
Try to take all of the events life drops you in a just go with them as best you can. If you cannot change it, make it work.
Perhaps the end of this relationship is just the beginning of something great happening? Maybe it is making way for something even greater to come into your life. I’m not saying that there is something controlling your life that thought “Hmm, I want to give them this, but I’ll have to make some room. I’ll just take away their relationship.” But you can take every situation and try to MAKE it something positive by your own hand.
What if you could take this pain and suffering you are feeling and harness it into something powerful? You could do so much with that strength!
So many great and inspiring people grew to what they are because they refused to be held back by their suffering, their “story”. Look at the people with terminal illnesses who still look upon their lives with joy and gratitude – Now THAT is strength!
With the loss of this relationship, what are you going to to to make sure that you turn this “Plot twist” into an advantage?

7. Stay Active

Don’t disappear off the face of the Earth. Take the time you need, but don’t abandon your life. Avoid making big “I am going offline from life because I am miserable” posts on Facebook, Twitter, etc. Perhaps those cute cat pictures or motivational quotes someone shares might help you to see that the world isn’t such an awful place.
Remain active in your community. Maybe join a voluntary scheme to help people in need. Very little in life helps you get perspective and feel better more than helping people, and there is a lot of good you can do.

8. Keep Perspective

You are a human being among 7 billion other human being, living on a big rock spinning around a big ball of burning gas. Of all the species of creatures, we are lucky to have a consciousness and the capability to think, to speak, to make art, to laugh, cry, enjoy things, make plans, explore and care. We are all very lucky to be here and we can all do extraordinary things.
You are a person and I am sure that you have great talents inside of you and out of the 7 billion people in the world, I know that you will find your perfect match when the time is right.

9. Allow time to do its thing

In time you will grow to feel better. The memory of the relationship won’t fade, the break-up won’t fade, but the pain will. You will learn to move on and learn not to think about it every minute or every time you see their face or hear their name.

You must remember that while this pain hurts now, it is just a path to recovery and you won’t feel this forever. You will grow, you will move on and you will be happy again if you just allow yourself to heal. Let go of regret, let go of the things you should have said or wish you had done and just let it become a chapter of your life that has has its ending written and you will remember, and maybe even treasure, for years to come. Try not to resist the scar of time that will close up this part of your life. You can move on and find even greater happiness if you truly accept the past and allow it to rest. Don’t rewrite it or keep trying to take things back to then. Even if you got back together with your ex and live the rest of your lives happily together, that’s a completely different chapter you are sharing. Whatever your future holds, let it come and let the past go and open your arms, and your heart, to accept the gift of the present.

 

I really hope this piece has been helpful to you and, if you are going through a breakup, I sincerely hope that I have managed to help you in some way to feeling better. Just remember that you are lovely, you are good and you are going to be okay and Learn With Amy, and all of your friends and family are there for you.

Leave any comments, questions and suggestions in the comment section below, or come over to our Facebook or Twitter to connect with us and other readers! Xx

Treating your sweetie – Long-distance love by air mail

We all love showing our special someone how special they are to us, and giving gifts is a fun way to show that. I love giving gifts to my bf and that is no different when he is on the other side of the world. I just like giving him stuff and treating him (Damn, I’m an awesome girlfriend!)

I’ve already sent him one package, but I have just sent him the first proper “Care package” type deal-y. The first package was mainly souvenirs that I couldn’t have given him before he went for fear of overloading him with stuff. This next one has had more thought and time and planning put in.

IMG_9274

Obviously, I can’t actually say what I bought until he’s actually received the package, but I can offer some good advice for putting together your own long-distance-love box.

 

 

Give it thought

I put a few days of thinking and shopping around into this so that it would be just right. Look for stuff that your s.o (significant other) would really like and have use for. Empty and unplanned gifts can be great, but there is something really special about when someone goes the extra mile of thinking about stuff that you don’t have and maybe can’t easily get.
My guy being in Korea, there is a lot of stuff I can easily get here that perhaps might not be as easy to get in Korea, so I had a lot of options.
Try to listen closely to stuff they say to see if you can get any ideas directly from them of what they might like or need.
I know that my bf has been studying a lot recently, so I came up with loads of ideas for gifts that related back to studying, without being entirely about studying.
Is there anything in particular going on in your s.o’s life right now that they could use a boost or some stuff for?
Are they saving for anything, working on anything or have any hobbies that you could help or support?
Any of these little things can give you ideas that will give them big feels to unwrap, especially if you’ve come up with and transported that thoughtfulness around the world (romantic!)
Check the rule book

It’s always a good idea to familiarise yourself with the rules when sending stuff in the mail – ESPECIALLY via air mail!!
photoThere are a lot of rules and restrictions over sending some items in the mail. I only learnt today how strict those rules are!!
One nifty example is nail polish: If you are mailing within the UK, you can only mail 4 small bottles of nail polish at a time – But don’t even try mailing nail polish remover as that is totally banned!
I made the unthinking mistake of trying to send a cute little candle to my boyfriend, which only resulted in my having to cut the box open and pull it out in the middle of the post office.
Seriously, save yourself the time and sticky tape by checking the rules early.
As well as general mailing laws, some countries have their own laws about stuff you can sent to and from different countries.
You can get “Prohibited and restricted items” leaflets from your post office, and information about each countries’ mailing laws can be found at the embassy for that country, either by looking on their website or calling them up.
Remember, don’t get mad at these rules. In these crazy times, everyone is having to be more careful. I know I’m not a terrorist, but, to the people in charge, my care package is just another box that needs to get safely transported from A to B and the rules are for all of us, so let’s play within them. 🙂

Not to cheap, not too pricey

Make sure when planning your package that you have a weight and money budget. That includes, the price of the packaging, the contents and the postage and fees. This can all mount up very quickly and, before you know it, you’ve spent £25 on the gifts and £30 getting it to its destination!
Get a leaflet from your post office or look online at the shipping costs to the country you are sending the package too (If your s.o lives in the same country as you, that makes it cheaper) and decide the maximum weight you are going to pay getting it there.
I decided that I was willing to pay around £10 for the shipping, not too much but not stingy either.
In the end, my box ended up weighing 0.401kg and cost £8 to send – Not too shabby! 🙂
I was careful to buy quite light stuff for the box. Fun and useful stuff that could also take a bit of tossing around in there (Korean Mail can get pretty beaten up in transit).
And together I spent about £15 on the contents. Nice but not too pricey!
When sending stuff overseas you have to be careful that you’re not sending stuff that is too expensive to the postage or too little to make the postage worth it.
You want to get your money’s worth from the postage, but you don’t want to send stuff that is too valuable without paying for a better postage (remember, tracking and signing costs extra).
Make it personal

If that means decorating the box, including a card or anything, make the personal message of “This is from me to you” the key focus of your parcel.
Sure the gifts inside it are great, but it is the element of feeling close and cared for that your partner will love most, so do whatever you need to get that across in your gift.
Write a letter, include a voice recording, send them a CD of your mutual favourite artist or anything. It’s the connection that you are looking for.
In the end, the most important part is conveying your intent behind the gift. Making your partner feel loved and special and telling them that, even though you’re not together in person, you’re still looking out for them and trying your best.

Another article will follow up with some cool suggestions for gifts, so please keep coming back.
Have you send your s.o a gift parcel? Let us know what was inside and how it went!
You can also come and connect with us on Facebook and Twitter  (as well as my personal Twitter and Instagram) and share your stories and opinions – I  love chatting with readers!
Hope this has been helpful to you and see you soon! X

5 ways to communicate with your partner online

 

The internet is a really (like REALLY) big place and there’s a lot you can do with it. There’s so much possibility for communication, especially between you’re Significant Other (S.O)!
Especially if you guys are in a Long-Distance Relationship, the internet can be such a fantastic tool for sharing.

Being in a LDR myself, I’ve spent quite a lot of time thinking about all the different ways to use the internet for sharing and talking with my S.O.
Here are the top 5 methods (in no particular order) that I’ve found for making the most of the inter web!
(And to sing us through the steps today, it’s Soulja Boy with Kiss Me Thru The Phone)

1. Facebook
Some people might criticise me for putting Facebook at the top, but it really is a very typical way of keeping in touch. Even though the settings and features barely stop changing every two minutes, Facebook has a lot of freedom for adjusting and organising your audience.
You can alter the privacy settings for each post to choose who gets to see what – you can even hide it from everyone but one of few select friends.
The messenger is a pretty easy to use and quick method of communication. Some people don’t get the notifications on all their devices (I myself limit the notifications that come through on my phone for productivity sake and to avoid the really annoying buzzing sound) and kind of try to avoid Facebook at times, so this might not be the best communication depending on their personality.
One good idea is to create a group that only you and your S.O can see, so you can post statuses, messages, photos videos, links, etc to the wall without having to worry about doing the privacy settings every single time.
However, do be careful what you upload as, like many websites, Facebook occasionally makes security slip-ups and people can end up seeing stuff they shouldn’t. So… Yeah, take care!

2. IM
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you don’t want to be texting and making overseas phone calls – that costs a lot of money – so you’ll want to look into the different instant messaging services available to you.
And, if you are, like me, dating a Korean, Kakaotalk and LINE are good messaging services to use. Calls and messages are free and they even have cute sticker things you can send to each other for those who like a little cuteness.
So take advantage of the many many different IM services out there, from Skype, to KakaoTalk, to WhatsApp!

3. Photo sharing
Sharing photos with your S.O is so easy online! There’s Snapchat, Instagram (which now has a direct feature for sharing with specific people), Facebook, Twitter, KakaoStory and so many more ways to share photos easily with reasonable privacy.
Again, it’s still the internet and privacy isn’t guaranteed, so I’d advise discretion when uploading pictures to the internet 😉

4. Blogging
It might seem a little odd with all the social media platforms out there, but it could be a good idea for you and your S.O to each start a blog that only the two of you can see. It gives you a little space that’s just yours, away from other notifications and influences from other people so you have a private little nook in the corner of the internet where you can both escape for a time. Update your blogs with anything you like – diary entries, your schedule, thoughts, videos, pictures, links, etc. It’s you’re blank canvas to paint the picture of your world to share with your other half so you can feel free to get creative with it!

5. Email
So, you might say it’s like 15 years too late for this idea, but communicating via email is actually a good way of sending longer and more detailed messages to your bf/gf. Just like a traditional letter, you can take your time to write a longer and more thoughtful message than you might send via IM (However, recently, in a letter I did discuss my thoughts on Psy’s new song Hangover…).
Don’t know this perfectly good method of communication until you’ve given it a good try. And anything that encourages you to stay on top of your inbox HAS to be a good thing!

I hope this is useful to you and has given you an idea of how the internet can help you and your partner feel close, even if there’s a whole world dividing you! If you have any comments or questions, please share them!
You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter!
I also have personal Twitter and Instagram accounts!

The 14th in Korea- A special day every month!

Korea loves a celebration and the 14th is a day to remember. And I don’t mean the 14th of one month – I mean every month!

In Korea, as well as celebrating anniversaries and 100th Day, some young people – particularly couples – like to celebrate on the 14th of every month.
In Korea, there is a celebration day on the fourteenth day of EVERY month, often celebrating love and relationships (a bit tough on any single people).

These days are mostly intended for teenagers and young adults, but some people like having the excuse to show particular affection to their loved one.

So, from Diary Day to Hug Day, here are all of those special dates you want to remember for you and your loved one.

January 14th – Diary Day
As many Koreans like to keep diaries, January 14 is a day where couples traditionally give each other a diary as a gift and a cute token to begin the year with. It’s a cute idea for a tradition and also means that, when couples write in their diaries, they think of their loved one.
Also, as a handy reminder, couples like to mark the diaries with all the dates of anniversaries and special occasions that the couple share for their other half!

February 14th – Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is very common celebration all around the world – a day where people confess their love to their crushes and when couples make a great effort to celebrate their love for each other. People give gifts, chocolates, poems (and even sometimes rings) to the one they love.
Sometimes people also make it a statement of proving love, sometimes by sacrificing their dignity to make a display of affection.
In Korea and Japan, it is traditional that women give handmade chocolates to men to show their feelings. And, if it works, their efforts are rewarded the following month! While, male colleagues or friends are given store-bought chocolates (in Japan known as義理チョコ / Giri choco, literally meaning ‘obligation chocolate’) to show friendship or consideration.

March 14th – White Day
White Day is the day that the men reciprocate the love to the ladies in their lives by giving them cute candies (not chocolates) as a token of affection. Often they are heart-shaped or cute.
A lot of men also give candies to friends and co-workers as a gesture as well.
Sweet!

April 14th – Black Day
Black day is a less joyous day than Valentine’s Day or White Day. Black Day is the day in Korea where single people, who did not receive anything on Valentine’s Day or White Day, gather in groups, to eat 자장면 (Jajangmyeon – a noodle dish topped with a black soy bean sauce called Chunjang 춘장 ) to mark being single.
Not so much a celebration day, but a good excuse to get together for Chinese food!

May 14th – Rose Day/Yellow Day
Rose Day: A day where people give a yellow rose to their loved one, or arrange a date somewhere that has roses.
Yellow Day: If a single person couldn’t have Jajangmyeon on Black day, they eat yellow rice and wear yellow clothes in the hope of finding someone by the next year. Some people wear full yellow outfits and spend all day eating bananas!
June 14th – Kiss Day
This is for singles and couples alike: Everyone tries to get a kiss with the person they like!

June 14th – Kiss Day

Pucker up, because Kiss day is the day you may get to plant one on the one you love.

Kiss day is about trying to win that kiss from the person you have in your heart. Good Luck!

July 14th – Silver Day
On this day couples exchange gifts made of silver, like jewlry or charms, as a sign of commitment.
Or, some people also go on a date where the older person in the relationship picks up the bill!

August 14th – Green Day
My first guess for this one was that couples sit together listening to the band Green Day, but instead they are supposed to walk in the woods wearing green while single people drink Soju, as it usually comes from a green bottle.

September 14th – Photo Day
As expected, couples go out on this day to take photos together to capture their love. It is common to go to a beautiful place, such as Insa-dong, for the occasion.

October 14th – Wine Day
Everyone drinks wine!

(Good news for me, with this day only about a week after my Birthday!)

November 14th – Movie Day/Orange Day
Exactly as the name suggests, couples go to see a movie together. However, on this day, the film should be accompanied with drinking orange juice.

December 14th – Hug Day
Everyone hugs the people they love. Whether single or not, this day is a lovely excuse to give your loved ones some affection (and can help everyone get into the Christmas spirit)